Wannabe-Terrorists ‘The English Volunteer Force’ Surrender Without Style

Some of us who were involved in the founding of SAFA had one particular event in mind at the time, that was the planned October “Flag Demo” (seriously, what the fuck does that even mean, demonstrating that you own a flag!?) by EDL splinter-group The English Volunteer Force. The EVF are a predictable bunch of racists with a hard on for Ulster Loyalism (particularly the murderous paramilitary group UVF, who killed many civillians as well as Irish republicans) who have been threatening to drag their ugly mugs through Southampton since the summer.

In attendence would most likely be Southampton EDL (who recently learned how to print shit quality t-shirts and are still riding the waves of excitement), local National Front fuckwits and possibly even what’s left of the North West Infidels (not their leader ‘ickle Diddyman though who this week had to pack up his Bob the Builder toothbrush and get ready for a long stay at The Big House – http://edlnews.co.uk/index.php/latest-news/latest-news/1201-infidels-jailed-for-violent-attack-in-liverpool).

However we were dissapointed to see that the UVF appear to have cancelled their demo, all that was posted was this vague apology…

EVF Surrender

What possible reason could there be for this quiet surrender!? Lack of numbers? Fear that they might get it handed to them without travelling support? All their ‘My First Terrorist’ balaclavas got shrunk in the wash? We may never know.

What we do know is that their have been some pretty good versions of this buzzing around the SAFA office (yeah ok, Wetherspoons) including:

“It is with deepest regret that we discovered a load of shit in our pants.”
“It is with deepest regret that there are 2 of us.”
and our personal favourite…
“It is with deepest regret that my mum cooked dinner for 6 and wouldn’t let me out after.”

So boys and girls, answers on a postcard. Why did EVF cancel their demo? Answers begin “It is with deepest regret…”
The winner will recieve a special EVF-brand balaclava, one with no holes so you too can blunder around in the darkness of your own ignorance.

SAFA

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